| "Never is a promise, dear. "
"It's a good thing that I don't break promises, then." |
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| I could write a million words about you and never tire of things to say. The worst part is you are not mine, and you will never be. It's been over half a year.
It's all the same with everyone. No one stays long enough so that I may learn for myself what a love is truly like.
You're no exception.
It's obvious it is not worth anything to give my heart away to some one that will not look after it, but I would love you again if I could.
It might be best if I forget you for the time being, but it is difficult seeing that love is whole and innocent, where you feel as though the other person is a part of your own very being that you could not possibly rip out without feeling lost yourself.
I keep telling myself that I do not love you and I have been lying through my teeth.
All I know to do is to keep running. I feel fake, although no amount of makeup can hide what I would like to rid myself of.
I only know how to do that through starvation and discipline. It is the perfect situation.
But I promised you, and more importantly myself, that this was going to happen. Recovery is possible, and time heals.
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| I hadn't realized how quickly everything could slip away in just a single moment.
Months of progress and believing that I am done with this all feels like I've been only lying to myself.
The realization that I don't have a reason to eat, sleep, or do anything any longer.
The only voice that is in my head is the one that is telling me that I am fat. (there is no way that photos can lie)
It's painful but it's true.
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| I am going to be great and things are beautiful. ♥
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| If I don't belong with you, I am not sure who I am meant for.
You are beautiful, you are sweet, you are a smile-on-my-face, radiant sort of day.
They tell me that he does not deserve me.
I need things to be different.
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True
